shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I came so hard my ears popped.
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