and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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