Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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