I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
