apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
