She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
