Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
