I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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