i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
