he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
