I bet he comes in French.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
