just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
