Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
