Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
