Buhtt sex?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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