either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
