Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
