1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
