For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
