think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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