I showed him my bush... on skype.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
