Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
