ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
