oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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