so explain again why im purple
no
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I cut my penus on the lid.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Are my feet made of real feet?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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