and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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