omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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