At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
