He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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