can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
