Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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