Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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