i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
