First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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