There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
