i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
