last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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