yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The best revenge is premature balding
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
