We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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