These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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