we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
