you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
