just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
