Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
