If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
