Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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