I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
