Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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