I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
