fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
