NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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